This website approaches interpersonal/intrapersonal communication differently than what’s being taught in schools, universities, colleges, and academies worldwide.*

Nationwide, 25% of US college freshman require remedial composition and comprehension courses to learn what their K-12 “teachers” failed to communicate. This is partly because students everywhere are only introduced to the fundamentals and principles of communication; this helps us understand North America’s 40% divorce rate, characterized by violent verbally abusive blaming. No one wants a brain surgeon who has only been “introduced” to the brain.  

This website makes a distinction between communicating and talking. We know when communication has taken place because problems are resolved through to mutual satisfaction whereas with talking, unwanted problems persist. Specifically, we define communication by the results.

I’m unaware of any college or academy that offers or requires education/health-care majors to attend a Leadership Training Program. With leadership training one must demonstrate an ability to consistently manifest stated intentions; such as, homework turned in on time and neatly (no excuses, no reasons). A Leadership Training Program includes one 3-hour session each week for all four years; graduation is via peer evaluation—specifically, classmates must report that they’ve had continued successes communicating with him/her; all one's fellow students must vote yes to the question, “Would I want this person teaching my child?”

Education majors have been taught by Instructors/Professors who use the Adversarial Communication Model** and so they themselves teach using use the same model. None are taught how to create/use any other communication model.

Worldwide most people are addicted to blame; this website addresses problems from cause. This point of view requires different conversations which are extremely difficult for anyone—but more so when using non-English language.***

Some irresponsible and responsible examples:

• He won't answer my questions. (irresponsible blame)
  I don’t know how to have him answer my questions. (responsible)

• My spouse cheated on me. (blame)
  Using my leadership-communication skills I drove my spouse into the arms of another. (responsible)

• My partner hits me when he/she is angry. (blame)
  I cause my partner to hit me. (responsible)

This website assigns unique definitions to commonly used words and language with which even most English speaking natives are not familiar. Schools do not insist upon graduates knowing the definitions to some extremely important words. For example: No two teachers in any school can quote the same definition of the words, responsibility, integrity, withholds, or abuse; few have quotable definitions of the words vow, agreement, aim, target, objective, mission, goal, or purpose. Few, if any, schools have a quotable purpose, one with which everyone is aligned, ergo each teacher has his/her own personal purpose.

* If I were to ask you for a definition of the word communication you’d tell me what you believe it to be, and, your definition would not improve my ability to manifest the results I say I want. No two teachers have the same definition of the word communication.

** The Adversarial Communication Model is easy to identify; it’s characterized by unconscious irresponsible blaming, withholding, knee-jerk arguing, making another(s) wrong, badmouthing, and getting ahead at the expense of others. A West Point graduate, as the commanding general of all US troops in Afganistan, who later served as the Director of the CIA, was unaware of the coorelation between ones personal integrity and results, as were all those that served under him—many of his subordinates knew he was cheating on his wife.

*** Over a period of 25-years our forums have had thousands of viewers but few questions; this is due in part because most people with a problem Google “abuse” and they come across our Dear Gabby Letters. They read a few letters and find that they have been stating their problem from blame. In other words, they automatically intuit Gabby’s reply, ergo no need to ask.