Our tutorials make a distinction between communicating and talking. We define communication by its result; I know communication has taken place when I've manifested my stated intention and all concerned feel good upon completion. —Kerry (Leadership-Relationship Communication-Skills Coach)

 

For example: Mother to child. "Time for homework." The child keeps watching TV. We say the result is proof that communication did not take place. The mom is/was unconscious; the child knew she didn't mean it. It was not the first time the mother had lied, had not meant what she said. Respect has been somewhat diluted.

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1. When you discover your partner has deceived you it's a reminder, that you began the deceit—you withheld a significant, possibly "deal-breaking," thought on the very first date. With 44+ years of 3-hour coaching sessions I have not found any exceptions to this entanglement phenomenon. —Kerry
   
   

2. All dissatisfactions with sex are a consequence of both partners withholding the same number of thoughts from the other. To create a safe space for all thoughts to be shared, you, must first do The [free] Clearing Process.
   
   

3. All dating couples are a perfect (puzzle-piece-like) match, both bring behaviors that have worked and those that haven't worked into the relationship. Communications that trigger breakdowns reveal incompletes (integrity issues) that both brought into the relationship. Both require the other to perfectly mirror them, to reveal life's incompletes, so as to experience being-one-with-the-other.
   
   

4. For one parent, ostensibly the "good" parent, to support persistent verbal abuse of their child, so as to look better or nicer, less abusive, more loving, more righteous (always for reasons) verges on evil; history refers to such people as the "good Germans." (comcom121.org/abuse).
   
   

5. Anyone who seduces a married manager, officer, politician, CEO, or any leader, is a covert saboteur; he/she is setting up life to discover the correlation between one's personal integrity and outcomes. His/her imagined/professed love for the leader is a lie. I.e. A responsible loving person would not risk the possible consequences of seducing a married leader knowing it would negatively affect the leader's results. Deceptions negatively affect ones results and health.
   
   

6. In a primary relationship in which one or both partners have become unhealthfully overweight both are withholding significant thoughts from the other—there are no exceptions to this phenomenon. To restore/maintain integrities do The [free] Clearing Process for Couples.*
   
   

7. It's unethical to use your leadership-communication skills (verbal, non-verbal, physical and psychic) to set up another to abuse you, to goad them into abusing you—to possibly have them incarcerated. Psychic: Unconsciously intending or consciously hexing, so as to have things fail.
   
   

8. With spousal abuse there are no bullies or victims—only consenting sparring partners—both equally (yes equally) addicted to blaming, both lying about the cause of the abuse.
   
   

9. Introducing a date to your dysfunctional (unethical/abusive/bigoted/argumentative) family is not a gift of love, especially to his/her parents; it's an abuse that generates breakdowns in communication, it will lead to a divorce. A responsible person estranges (comcom121.org/estrangement.htm) him/her self from their family until they all get therapy.
   
   

10. Arrogance is thinking you can create and sustain the experience of love and happiness without acknowledging your childhood perpetrations, such arrogance begs to be humbled. Read: (bigislandforum.org/health) and (bigislandforum.org/reunion).
    
    

11. The partner who refuses to insist upon therapy after causing the first physical abuse becomes cause for all successive abuses. All "victims" of abuse are addicted to blaming.
    
    

12. If you are engaged and withholding a deceit from your parents or your betrothed, then your relationship will be about experiencing the consequences of deceit; furthermore, it condemns your partner to a life with little or no joy—definitely not a gift of love.
    
    

13. All divorced couples brought their addictions to deception (to withholding thoughts of choice) and to blaming, into the relationship.
    
    

14. Submission is a sneaky clever way of controlling another so as to survive, to manipulate the partner into providing shelter, food, sex, and the illusion of security.